Looking back a bit.
Dec. 4th, 2002 12:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cyriljackalGot a couple of cavities filled today at the dentist. It was so very unpainful, even then needle was unnoticeable. I've begun going to a chiropractor too to fix some of my back pain. Man my spine looks wicked bad from the inside. You'd never know from the outside how bad it looks in the lower back area. I'd probably be 2 inches taller without that twist.
Christmas season will be wearing me thin I think with how corporate keeps demanding changes immediately and within hours notice. Not to keep in mind we have 2 people or 3 running the store at one time and tons of customers because it's the shopping season. No, never they mind that.
I've really spent too much of my past year trying to rely on people who were not yet able to be relied upon. All my past boyfriends were unable to take care of themselves in an adult fashion. Not that I'm much better, but at least I have a job and a place of my own with Shane. Some stuff you can't do alone. It's best to let the kids be kids, and not ask them to be adults before their time. I spent years screwing up knowingly. Only now is it really time to reel it in and stop being such a stupid child. I cannot expect more from anyone else.
I used to keep a journal on my Palm Pilot Vx and here is the closest record to today from one year ago...
"Wednesday December 5, 2001
Who'd have thought 2 years ago that I and Vulp would sit and talk like normal people? And Dan would be out of my life, nigh permanently? One thing to know about life, no thing is forever or sure. Tomorrow could turn today on it's ear."
Years back Vulp and I vied for the attentions of Dan (aka, Grathlan). I had an intense hatred of him because he at every turn wanted to take Dan from me. Pretty much told me so. Just me talking to him at that point was a wild concept, instead of killing him that is. And also it serves to remind that last year was totally different than this.
Last year I was worried I'd be stuck at home forever with my parents, but this year Shane has brought me into his life.
Last year, I felt lost and alone, and sort of slutty. Now I'm in a home with Shane and I really don't think of any other guys anymore. I'm well taken care of here at home.
Shane's changed my life.
He takes so much time to make sure I'm ok. I'm taken care of like I've always needed. I just hope he's as well taken care of.
Work is soon, I close and I feel like it might be a busy night.
Looking forward to getting paid tomorrow.
Christmas season will be wearing me thin I think with how corporate keeps demanding changes immediately and within hours notice. Not to keep in mind we have 2 people or 3 running the store at one time and tons of customers because it's the shopping season. No, never they mind that.
I've really spent too much of my past year trying to rely on people who were not yet able to be relied upon. All my past boyfriends were unable to take care of themselves in an adult fashion. Not that I'm much better, but at least I have a job and a place of my own with Shane. Some stuff you can't do alone. It's best to let the kids be kids, and not ask them to be adults before their time. I spent years screwing up knowingly. Only now is it really time to reel it in and stop being such a stupid child. I cannot expect more from anyone else.
I used to keep a journal on my Palm Pilot Vx and here is the closest record to today from one year ago...
"Wednesday December 5, 2001
Who'd have thought 2 years ago that I and Vulp would sit and talk like normal people? And Dan would be out of my life, nigh permanently? One thing to know about life, no thing is forever or sure. Tomorrow could turn today on it's ear."
Years back Vulp and I vied for the attentions of Dan (aka, Grathlan). I had an intense hatred of him because he at every turn wanted to take Dan from me. Pretty much told me so. Just me talking to him at that point was a wild concept, instead of killing him that is. And also it serves to remind that last year was totally different than this.
Last year I was worried I'd be stuck at home forever with my parents, but this year Shane has brought me into his life.
Last year, I felt lost and alone, and sort of slutty. Now I'm in a home with Shane and I really don't think of any other guys anymore. I'm well taken care of here at home.
Shane's changed my life.
He takes so much time to make sure I'm ok. I'm taken care of like I've always needed. I just hope he's as well taken care of.
Work is soon, I close and I feel like it might be a busy night.
Looking forward to getting paid tomorrow.
