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Nov. 1st, 2002 09:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cyriljackalI was called 'weak' today by someone close to me. Because I fold like a wet paper shack when faced with situations involving people I'm close to. I then chose to remind him of how he's tossed aside a few guys, without maliciousness, because they were young and needed to grow up yet they still loved him, or just because something wasn't there...
Don't make me point out the truth ever.
I am weak. I can't say fuck you forever. Everyone else can to me. I've had countless people Fuck You forever to me. Then blithely ignore me ever since. I'm a sap. Feel free to laugh.
I try to be bitter and hard, but I'm a sap. The right sentiment can control me, and people know it. We want all the beautiful things in life, the good car, the happy boyfriend, the dog and a nice house...
But do I really want that? Or is it all just some fake lie I made up to placate my restlessness?
I am very restless. I feel like I lie about how unrestless I am. If I had any self confidence I'd have taken over the world by now, or destroyed my little part of it. I wonder if I could make it as an actor, or if what's inside shows too well?
I have a face that is put on for customers at work. My helpful work guy face. Pity you if you ever get that in real life, because that means you've lost all contact with the me inside. Some people get this now and don't know. Happy Helpful Guy At Work. Service with a smile. Next please...
I'm hungry. I ate but I'm still hungry.
Don't make me point out the truth ever.
I am weak. I can't say fuck you forever. Everyone else can to me. I've had countless people Fuck You forever to me. Then blithely ignore me ever since. I'm a sap. Feel free to laugh.
I try to be bitter and hard, but I'm a sap. The right sentiment can control me, and people know it. We want all the beautiful things in life, the good car, the happy boyfriend, the dog and a nice house...
But do I really want that? Or is it all just some fake lie I made up to placate my restlessness?
I am very restless. I feel like I lie about how unrestless I am. If I had any self confidence I'd have taken over the world by now, or destroyed my little part of it. I wonder if I could make it as an actor, or if what's inside shows too well?
I have a face that is put on for customers at work. My helpful work guy face. Pity you if you ever get that in real life, because that means you've lost all contact with the me inside. Some people get this now and don't know. Happy Helpful Guy At Work. Service with a smile. Next please...
I'm hungry. I ate but I'm still hungry.
