Karmic Balance

Sometimes something happens to even out the best of days. Things that play with your mind.
I had a Fantabulous day with Shane. We shopped, enjoyed each other's company, ate, shopped more, got gelati at Rita's Water Ice, and came home. It was GREAT.
Then I tried connecting the new wireless router we got from an exchange at CompUSA.
The network didn't just stop working, its gone. But the wireless stuff still sees the router...
So I don't know what the hell is going on. I never was one for networking.
So I sat and fiddled for hours till midnight and past, frustrating myself. Then I got ignored by some people whose simple talking to might have helped me remain afloat. I just got so depressed I went in and lightly cried on Shane's chest.
At night, the worst doubts surface, the darkest sides of your mind emerge and make sure you know you're the biggest failure in the world.
"Never make any important decisions at night," Ron said to me once.
I cried and thought all the awful 'who could like me' kind of thoughts because for that moment I was the biggest failure I could be.
I woke up this morning and could barely sleep, but eventually did after curling around my Baloo plushie. Perfect hugging size for me. Almost.
It's the morning now, and I feel... better. But uneasy like waking up from a nightmare.
I'll be better. Work is ahead of me, then dinner with friends. At least I can maybe ask Kristy for a hug too. She's special that way.