o/~ I can see right through you o/~...

How will my life turn out? Have I done enough to make it less than nothing? Will I run the good things that have happened? The last few weeks of this year have gone by so fast and so many things happened in those last months. My first boyfriend in a year, then moving out with a guy out from under my parents roof. It's more than has happened in the previous year. Left behind by so many too.
I wonder if I'll be blamed for the end of things and the beginnings of others or if it will be business as usual?
Its about 3 am and I'm listening to a live winamp broadcast of DJ Genki's stuff. I don't know if we'll ever talk like we used to or not. Though that's not up to me. I'm just the passive receiver here. Like an antennae picking up signals.
I sat and talked with Shane about making the place more comfortable to me tonight. I know he'd let me do anything I needed to (except put up my horror action figures, they creep him out) but I worry about overdoing it. I sometimes wonder if I deserve to cohabitate.
He says I have serious self esteem issues. Yes, yes I do.
I need to do a few things.
1) Get my wireless LAN up again for my laptop.
2) Get some art going, drawing, or more likely sculptures of some sort. It's calling to me.
3) Get more friends over. This place is loneley and no home is alive without friends.

I think those few things need to get done.
Its gonna be a New Year soon. Let's see what it brings. Long as it brings me closer to those I love, that's all I care about.

"There is no such thing as a self-critical jackal."
Right... See above.