Stripped down to the marrow at work like all the ones I know.

I get the feeling that everyone around me will 'get theirs' some day, but I never will. It seems that everyone just has to weather the storm till whatever it is comes in for them, even if it's something as horrible as the death of someone to set them for life. I feel disillusioned that I will spent the rest of my life doing stuff and never being ahead, even though I'm smarter than probably a good chunk of the general population, and kinder and more good hearted than even that portion.
I have probably cheated myself actually. It's likely all my fault. I'm too lazy to deserve anything. I don't work for it.
I do no deserve what I have because I am lazier than anyone else. I don't appreciate anything.
Maybe the only way to get anything out of life is to take it. Damn whoever you step on to get it. But I'm the kind that winces when stepping on someones face.
Too weak, by my calculations, to succeed.
But what if I exploded? Gave no care to what held me back like some fireball? Melting metal and people around me? Scorching flesh off bone and reaching outward till the whole world burned in your light?
What if I growled and bit open a neck like a fearsome predator?
I feel creepy crawly in my skin.
I'm the happy creepy nice mental guy.
Maybe I should be alone, but it's so lonely being alone.
It'd make my tears fall.

Hello, Yips.
Hello, Colin.
Hello, Caius.
and Hello especially to Shane.
Hello.
Hello.